If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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