he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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