her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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