K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
