hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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