I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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