Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
