how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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