I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
