forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
last night I used snow as a chaser
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
