I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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