I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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