Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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