Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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