Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
