So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
