she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
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