I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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