Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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