I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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