i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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