:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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