You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
