I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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