oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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