Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
