Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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