He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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