that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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