so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
