Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize