Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
