How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
