I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
