but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Even my vagina gasped.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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