She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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