Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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