She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
