Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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