i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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