i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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