My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
