frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize