He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
