Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
