Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
