I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
