we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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