Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
false alarm. still invincible.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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