hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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