Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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