My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
