So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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