what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
