My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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