enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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