either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
