turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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