i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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