I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
